Welcome to America.
During recess, there is NO running allowed.
Someone might get hurt.
Do NOT play tag games.
Keep your hands to yourself.
If you play dodge ball you're going to the office.
Did you just keep score? How dare you.
Someone might cry. Stop that.
Stop fidgeting around your chair or we'll medicate you. And NO, there is NO running allowed. Sit down!
Color INSIDE the lines. Period. NO exceptions.
If you're uncomfortable, take a break. Stop.
You're too busy with your school work. You can't get a job. There is not enough time in the day. You need to keep your grades up and if you work once a week that will certainly be THE thing sending your grades in the gutter.
I'm not fat, I just have big bones.
I'm in debt because of Obama. Everyone in college and without a job should be driving a tricked our BMW. Duh!
There is nothing wrong with spending hours on facebook. The important stuff can get done tomorrow, next week or next month.
Whatever works for you, I'm cool with that.
My Mom never woke me up, which is why I'm late, which is also why I never eat breakfast and also why I buy the school lunch. There's never anything to eat in my house.
Something is wrong with my knee.
Did you ice it?
No.
I went running though.
You went running while your knee was hurting?
Yes.
So your knee isn't hurt anymore?
It only hurts when I bend my leg or when I walk or run. If I sit down I'm fine. But after I sit down for a while it starts to hurt. But I'm fine.
I can't believe your Mom...... Your Mom is soooooo ridiculous for not packing your lunch, making your breakfast and organizing your schedule for you.
You're the future of America but don't sweat it, hard work is soooooo last year.
I can't believe that teacher gave you homework this weekend. Homework on a weekend. Don't teachers know that the weekend means NO work!?!
Yes, I know, the ref ripped you off, that's why you lost the match. Those damn refs, always ripping kids off.
Take a week off and rest. F**k that hard work stuff.
This weekend is partaaaaay time!
I can't wait to get buzzed. Bring dat Corona, yo!
I can't believe we lost that Football game.
We worked out all summer. That's like 8 weeks of training, Dude. I do 20 push ups EVERY DAMN DAY!
Do you even lift, bro?
Yea, I work out, bro. Retro. Where do you train?
How much can you leg press?
Dude, it's 3 am, stop texting me, I need to go to sleep. Meet me at Dunkin Donuts tomorrow morning?
What time?
7:30
Bro, we have home room at 7:30! ha ha
So what, I'm tired. Besides, we get up to 10 excused lates.
I need some coffee in the morning and one of those blueberry bagels, they are awesome.
True dat, I'm gonna get some munchkins! BOOM!
Yep.
Alright, yo, peace out.
I need a job but nobody wants to give me a job.
Friggin' Obama.
I don't even know if I'm gonna play Football this year.
The Coach gave me spot away to Johnny. He's a dick. I wanted that spot.
I'm having a bad day today. Shit is killin' me yo. My girlfriend is mad at me. She texted me 72 times today telling me that she hates how I go to the gym 2 x week.
I don't even wanna work out. I can't work out.
I hurt my hand when I hit the Volleyball in gym class so the school nurse said to take 2 weeks off.
My Mom said the same.
Today I ate fruity pebbles for breakfast.
At lunch I ate the chicken fingers and some orange drink. The lunch lady wasn't looking so I didn't even pay! ha!
No, I didn't have time to eat after school.
I was at my friend's house.
Oh wait, I had some taco sandwich from WAWA and now my stomach is killing me.
So I ate a protein bar.
Yea. I was gonna do that but my schedule doesn't fit.
Besides, I'm doing 6 minute abs everyday. I saw that on youtube.
I don't know why I don't feel good. I have no energy anymore.
It was that sandwich I ate.
That workout wasn't even hard. It musta been that sandwich I ate 3 days ago.
Obama made me eat it and My Mom never packed my lunch.
I would ride my bike to 7-11 and buy eggs but those eggs are like 3 dollars and it'll take me 5 minutes to ride my bike there.
I can't believe Johnny's joining the Army, he's an idiot. They're gonna make him run n' shit.
My teacher sucks. She told me I could do better on my report. Who cares!?
END RANT
Bottom Line: Don't be spoiled. You're NOT entitled to jack shyt. Work your ass off. Outwork everyone else and EARN everything. Be honest and don't steal from people. Work your ass off.
There are NO excuses except for the excuse we fabricate in our own head. I am even guilty of this sometimes myself, but I'll be damned if I fall in line with the rest of the complainers, blamers and excuse makers.
Step UP! For those who don't step up and make a bunch of BS excuses, don't forget, your life is your fault, good or bad, all responsibility lies on your shoulders.
If it is important, you will find a way.
If not, you will find an excuse.
17 Responses
Good stuff, one of the funniest and sadist rants I’ve ever heard. Some of it sounded like you heard it first hand or through students. If so, that’s sad and I fear the future generation that is going to take care of mine.
Amen! Everything you get you have to work hard for it!
Thanks Josh, I feel like I just ended a set of breathing squats (you took a load off me). I was beginning to feel alone in my mindset, unless of course I turn to a specific channel late in the evening. As the tree is bent, so shall it grow…….
Sorry Zach, Freudian slip. I was addressing my nephew!?
One child at a time! As coaches we have the ability to change One Child At A Time. I have worked on my two boys for over eight years of their lives. I talk every day about given your all even when others choose to not do it. I talk to them about different people and how they act. We analyze our world and I help them understand what they see. I don’t toss them into team sports with the hope that they develop some amazing work ethic. I am not stupid! Work Ethic comes from “Leading From The Front” (sound familiar?).
From college, high school, middle school and even elementary school I am constantly preaching to Never Give Up and to push hard. I like to use the line from “Rocky Balboa” “It isn’t how hard you can get hit, It is how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
Vince Lombardi has a great line about “Bad Apples” He states that he can not have a bad apple in his organization because over time it will spoil the whole bunch. This is parents on both sides-Over Driven and Under Driven.
The over driven are living through their child. They scream at coaches and refs. Their child’s lack of playing time is the “Coaches Fault”. Maybe your child doesn’t want to play the sport you so love. Stop looking at your child as a Retirement Fund.
The under driven find it is bad to push your child. Some how if you make them work you are this obsessed parent. They do everything for their child. And when they are caught stealing or drinking under age it isn’t their baby’s fault it is someone else. They are the blue ribbon parents.
To deny competition, aggression and passion is to deny being Human.
Good Rant Zach I had to toss in mine!
“How much can you leg press?”
“So I ate a protein bar.”
Five star rant.
Approved by the one and only David Ellis!!!
Laziness, irresponsibility, and selfishness are all around us. However, there are a handful that go against the grain and refuse to float downstream like a dead fish .
They are the ones who will make a difference in this life, the others will become statistics.
Great post. This is a message everyone needs to be reminded of from time to time, but kids need to hear from someone because so many don’t. I was thinking about having fruity pebbles for breakfast until I read it!!
Amen Brother! Thank you for your honest approach to what is happening in this great country. My family appreciates what you say and we adhere to the code. My 6 year old little princess is on her way to a black belt in Taekwondo and can do more pushups than most clients that I train. Keep speaking the truth!
I am going to print this and read it to each of my teams that I train this week.
WORD!
Brian D, kids will cry and you’ll be fired!
Holy (fill in blank)!!! We just talked about this in my paramedic class today. How kids get medicated for whatever is wrong so they can sit still in class. That and all the texting and face spacing, you booking, my tubing (mixed up on purpose). And that is the future. I am waiting for these kids to get into their 20’s and 30’s and see if they talk to their parents like “OK, so like I am going to Jonny’s cause he’s got like this new computer surround system, and he always has like the greatest snacks to go with my drunk munchies, so text me if you fall Ma. By love you.” or some sad stuff like that. There is no communication, pain is almost the boogey man in schools, teachers can’t control kids (not all teachers, but a lot of them), kids get what they want simply by tantrum and a lot of parents don’t teach the earn concept. Not to mention the complete lack of pride. I got steaming when I read how many Americans (born and raised mind you) can’t even pass the citizenship test. Even more heated when an article said only 25% of Americans can name the first 4 presidents, which to me translates to 75% of Americans don’t appreciate how our home came to be. Although I did chuckle a little bit when they said a lot of people put down the SS Enterprise as the ship that Columbus sailed to America, even if that is just as sad. Not to mention the joke that is old already “America: where obesity is a national concern, but a top clothing product is skinny jeans.” Ok, my part of the rant is over. Thanks for the post Zach
Its a funny post, but it becoming a national standard……weakness and demeaning strength. Our leaders are even worse, so there is little hope for the future unless they start to embrace your life style.
And every pediatrician says
“don’t Squat”
“don’t lift weight over your head”
“if you breathe hard when you run, you have
exercise induced asthma”
Zach –you da man!
Right on Zach, it is so sad that I see these attitudes and behaviors even in the Military. The military today isn’t the same as it was 17 years ago when I joined. Lots of younger personnel have an attitude of entitlement and piss poor work ethic. All I can do is stil push on and be the kick in a$$ to the ones that need it. I have been referred to as being a jerk and insensitive more times than I can count. I’m really concerned for our country’s future, and I’m not so sure that anything can reverse the trend of pussification we are witnessing.
I second Dennis’ comment about the military. I’m in the Navy and I know a lot of old-time Chiefs and First Class Petty Officers (E-7s and E-6s for you non-Navy guys) who have gotten out and are amused by what’s happening to the military, especially at the boot camp level. Now, you can’t give the recruits intensive PT as a form of punishment anymore…what.the.fuck! IT didn’t kill me in boot camp three years ago and it most certain would not kill me now if I had to do it. Seems like the only part of the Navy that encourages you to punish someone with PT is the Special Operations/Special Warfare groups. I’m also a 28-year old female who raised to know that I’m not entitled to EVERYTHING I receive (great parenting from two of the best 66-year old people I’ve ever known–Mom and Dad). I worked hard for what I have now, which should be considered a PRIVILEGE, not a right. My 22-year old roommate is a prime example of this. There are rules here in the barracks about having opp. sex visitors in the room and up until a few months ago, when I moved in, she felt that she could violate this rule. Even though she lives in the other room within the unit that we share, the rules apply regardless. That was a non-fitness example, but the fact that living here in the barracks (or ANYTHING for that matter) is a privilege, not a entitlement is what I was getting at. I hate how the generation behind mine believes that they are entitled to everything. Does social media play a part? Yes. Wimpy politicians? Always. The strongest female I know (aside from my mother) is a Damage Controlman 2nd Class named Foster. She can bench press better than most guys I know and she can literally almost WALK the 1 1/2 mile-run for the PRT, she’s in such good shape. So, it’s not just the guys in the generation behind mine, it’s the gals, too. I try not to laugh when I see females doing curls with 10-pound dumbbells in the gym and want to smack the person who talks on the phone while they’re pedaling away on the cycle. 100% FOCUS, Y’ALL!!! TURN.IT.OFF. Call me a young old soul if you want. You know I’m right.