In Episode 86 Of The STRONG Life Podcast I catch up with my buddy, Joe DeSena.
Joe is The Founder of The Spartan Race and we connected in prior episodes of The STRONG Life Podcast HERE.
In this episode, we get ranting on the topics that fire us up on a regular basis:
- The inaccurate perception of the lives of others due to social media.
- The realities of being an entrepreneur.
- Today's Kids & Their Parents. What needs to Change to Create The STRONG Life Movement?
- The difference & lessons learned since Joe has lived in Singapore for the past year with his family
- The "Spartan Parenting" Techniques that will help kids achieve more confidence, health, strength (emotional & physical) & overall success both today & in their future
- Building a Spartan School.
- The Different Experiences Joe & Zach have had Between Overseas Coaches & "The American Way"?
- Sport Coaches & The Necessity for Leadership.
- Why Exercise Is a GIFT & Why People Must STOP Viewing Training & Hard Work As a Punishment
Listen to the entire episode for more gems & inspiration on The STRONG Life & attacking your goals like a SPARTAN.
QUESTION OF THE DAY: At the end of our podcast, Joe announces a podcast prize for those who answer with the best effort. In the comments section, answer that question Joe announces at the end and we will choose the winner who will be flown to China for The China Spartan Agoge challenge.
[youtube width="700" height="400"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcKF03pQ2bk[/youtube]
Listen on iTunes HERE
Listen on Stitcher HERE
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
QUESTION OF THE DAY: At the end of our podcast, Joe announces a podcast prize for those who answer with the best effort. In the comments section, answer that question Joe announces at the end and we will choose the winner who will be flown to China for The China Spartan Agoge challenge.
Looking forward to seeing your comments / questions / answer to Joe's QOD!
20 Responses
Hi Zach and Joe! AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME podcast ps sound quality was perfect there is nothing wrong with it.
My tip on parenting. As a parent remember when you were a kid. What I mean is remember all the times when as a kid you wanted to do something that was risky and your parents said No you might get hurt. Remember those times because it’s those times were the kids make mistakes and go through pain that they learn the most. Case and point a few moths ago I told my mum that I was doing 3,000 burpees in a day she said no it’s too much. I managed to persuade her and I did it. It was risky but because I did it I am more familiar with pain. So parents need to let their kids do risky things more often, things that can even hurt them because those are the things were they learn the most about themselves.
Trust me I know I’m a kid but I’m also old enough for the Agoge I checked the site.
And Joe sleep? When I pass out a nice cold wet Rock in the middle of a waterfall will do.
Thanks for the brilliant podcast guys it was brilliant.
Pps when it becomes a thing my kids are going to your school.
Jason
I think the guiding principle of parenting should be to raise your child to become a man or woman who you would be proud of. It’s simple, but what does that entail? Start out by knowing that you’re not perfect and your child never will be either. Fights will happen, and they teach forgiveness. Mistakes will rear their ugly faces, but they grow mettle. You support your child in his or fancies: just enough that they know you’re there, but not enough to intrude or lead them forward by the hand. Instill a love for learning. Nurture open-mindedness. And most of all, accept that you are going to change yourself, and parenting will teach you about yourself as much as it will about your child. A Spartan education would never be complete without a love for fitness though. Feed them a steady diet of movement. Crawl and laugh with your baby, climb on the slides and play catch with your toddler. Start on ten burpees a day as soon as they can jump, and keep the burpees in there! Set the example with your own reverence for exercise. Exercise is not a chore; it’s the lifeblood of family. Whatever sport your child wants to do, encourage them, and you might find yourself with a new favorite pastime of your own. Being a parent is a gift above all else, so treasure it as such.
My Tip on Parenting….. Or even teaching kids is that we need to allow our youth to endure hardship. Teachers and parents can’t always ‘spoon feed’ answers and solutions to problems. We need to provide opportunities for children to find the answers themselves. One way in facilitating this is by modelling how to solve problems, illustrating the bad ass culture, so they can actually see and copy this behaviour. In spiritual terms ,show them how to bare our crosses. It starts from us, the parents. If the parent is a pussy ….. well then everyone knows what’s going to happen.
Zach, excellent podcast. Joe, Spartan races are badass and I just finished my 3rd Super on the weekend in Toronto.
Thank you
My wife is an amazing mother, however her instinct to protect the kids is sometimes (in my opinion) too strong. Therefore, my plan to make our kids into badasses:
Always ask mum’s permission for whatever crazy plan I have in mind for the kids….Permission granted? I probably need a new plan. Permission denied? Go Go Go!
A friend gave me the best parental advice as I was awaiting the birth of my first child. Before I drop those powerful words, my thoughts take me back to my childhood. I see myself as blessed, having a childhood filled with bikes, fights, dirt, a river and strong role models.
I promote bike riding to my son. A person learns plenty of times how to fall down, dust off and get back up again.
I certainly do not promote senseless fighting, but I do wrestle and spar with my son. These sessions are fortified with lessons on no bullying, defending oneself and never hitting girls, but block like hell, haha!
I let him get dirty. Dirt has a fundamental way of connecting us to nature. It gets in our eyes, under our fingernails, and best of all can be turned into mud.
This brings me to water. Water is to be respected. We are made up of mostly water. Water is a life source, but can snuff us out as well. I teach him to value and appreciate water as well as respect its power.
My Dad and Granddad’s were my role models. My dad taught me to drop everything to spend time with a child. Children don’t understand the adult world yet, but if we tune back in we all remember how to be a kid. Look around. That slumped over, head down look, is how everyone looks while they are on the Iwhatever. That is a destitute image. I do not want my son looking up from the mud puddle and seeing his dad buried in something lifeless and manmade looking addicted and beaten, no sir! My Granddad’s were both tough as bricks, from a different time, and this I hope, rubbed off a little on me.
My friend told me about parenting, “everyone is going to give you their own recipe, go with your heart, you’ll know what’s best”.
Thanks,
Mike Guardiola
Well said Mike!
Dan,
Your post is right on. It’s like throwing money at a problem or letting yourself be brought down by life’s hard lessons. That’s self-coddling. If a child sees this they start doing the same and it carries on through life. I’ve had to shake a ton of this sh#* off. The last brick laid on a building doesn’t ask the first one how he’s dong down there. It just knows that that MF is a brick too and they have to get the job done.
Peace
Nice one-two punch….two of my favorite podcasts…STRONGLife and Spartan Up!
I have five kids I’m ready to enroll at the Underground/Spartan School!
My parenting tip?
1. Let your kids see you struggle and then let them see you overcome that struggle. Success doesn’t come easy. Life isn’t easy. Mom and Dad are every kids hero. If they see you constantly challenging yourself and overcoming then that will be the norm.
B. Teach them that “good enough” is for suckers. We live in a good enough society and I’m constantly fighting that mentality. My father’s best friend is a carpenter and when he was being taught the trade his mentor would make him re-cut a stud if it was an 1/8 of an inch off. Could it still be used? Was it good enough?” Sure. But good enough was unacceptable. You don’t see that very often in the trades today. People just don’t take pride in their work like they used to…but I digress. Good enough is never acceptable!
Hi Zach and Joe,
I’m a big follower and listener of you both! Thank you for ALL the resources you have put up, truly life changing and life inspiring.
I believe GREAT parenting STARTS in THE WOMB! Or even before conception to make MYSELF the best version of myself I can be day in and out. I don’t have kids yet, I have been married 1 year on July 4th and counting and look forward to being a parent one day.
One of my LIFE PASSIONS is training youth and I too have found the younger I start training them the more resilience they can build. As we all know KIDS learn not just from what we SAY but from what WE DO. SO being the person I can be and improving myself is my life task. If someone already has kids, then start by making yourself better too and they will see you reading more and eating better etc… DO IT, DON’T JUST say it and start today!
That’s why I listen and ACT on what you guys say and I think is the BEST way to be a BETTER PARENT.
Do the exact opposite of what everyone else is doing.
I think the advice above is my contest winning response.
But I had one other thought. Figure out as fast as you can what your son’s or daughter’s 2-3 signature strengths are and just be relentlessly and caustically tough on them on those fronts. Throw them in the deep end constantly in their strength areas. Find unique way to challenge them. Teach them to innovate and build on their strong areas. In contrast, try to quickly find out their 2-3 biggest weakness areas. Be relentlessly compassionate in those areas. Be patient in those areas but also be firm and consistently and calmly help create a roadmap to improve those weaknesses.
In between those two poles, teach them to be generous and kind and sleep in cold dark room and drink lots of water.
Let them try, let them fall, be there to help them up, dust them off and push them back into it. Lead by example.
‘I’ve never done a Spartan Race, or anything like it. I only train for running short distances of 1 mile or less. I couldn’t possibly leave my wife with our two kids to go to China when we haven’t taken a vacation in a long time. I just started a new job. It’s possible that if I have to tell my boss I want to go to China for a Spartan Race, I won’t get that raise I’ve been working so hard for. I don’t really have any earned time off yet. My wife will probably kill me if she finds out I won this contest. What about my contact lenses or glasses? I’ll have to go buy some rec-specs that stay on in the mud’ … The first thing that I felt in my gut when I heard Joe announce this contest was ‘This sounds amazing. I need to go.’ Then, my brain started to fight back with all the ‘reasons I shouldn’t or couldn’t’. My tip to my kids is this: Ignore your lizard brain. Listen to your gut and go figure it out.
Excellent podcast, Zach and Joe. As a busy father of two, your sentiments really resonate with me. Here is some “advice” I actively try to pass on to my children:
“The boat will float just fine, as long you don’t let the water in.” This simple statement really speaks to the mental fortitude that children need to develop to succeed in this world. We live in a overly sensitive culture where we need warnings, precautions, or the “approval” of people in charge to get anything done. I want my kids to know, and value, that developing belief in themselves and pushing through adversity is not only for movie heroes. Not every day will be sunshine and rainbows. However, humans are resilient. We can get through the tough times just as we do with the good times. As long as we don’t let the negative in (the doubters, the excuses, the peer pressure) we can accomplish anything we put our mind to. We need to push forward and attack our passions. Time waits for no one.
While they are young (my son will be 5 in the fall), they already know that Daddy and Mommy work hard. They know what it means to sacrifice time, money, etc. to chase dreams. They know that we interpret “I can’t” as “I won’t”. We stress physical activity, proper nutrition, and limited screen time. I want my children to chase THEIR dreams. They don’t have to be involved in science and fitness like Mom and Dad. It’s their life to live. I want them to attack it with confidence and self-respect.
Stay strong.
Another great episode Zach, thank you! Thanks to Joe for being on too!
Parenting is not easy. That being said neither is life on some days and “the obstacle is the way”. Consistency, opportunity, modeling, continual self-improvement: these are ideals I would relate to a new dad. Consistency in routines, in telling/showing our kids that we love them and they’re safe: safe from “the darkness”, and safe to learn, grow, and fail. Without failure there is no growth, right? And yet, we’ve got to fight our own parental instincts, sometimes friends and family who are parents, school, and even society itself to let our kids fail from time to time. As a parent, we want to provide for our children, keep them happy, and give them everything we never had. Yet if we do that, how much have we prepared them for life outside of our nest or den? In school, our grading policies need to be looked at. Yes, I as a high school teacher, and my daughters as students, need accountability. But does our system account for the idea of some failure as growth? For the need to reward a student, even if they fail, who took an academic risk? Finally, as a father and a man you’ve got to stay on the path of learning and improving. If your kids see you accepting of the idea of any one of us as a “work in progress”, they’ll be more likely to have that attitude of improvement. The idea that it’s ok to want to be better and it doesn’t make us defective, that it’s in fact, what we’re supposed to do. If they see you their father as someone who takes fitness, nutrition, knowledge, treating your spouse the right way, general wellness as important, and you model that day in and day out (as much as you can, because again, we’re all a work in progress) that will rub off on them and ingrain that philosophy in them. At least I hope it does, because that’s how I try to live my life and family!
A better way to parent in one paragraph… good luck right???
A better way to parent is exemplify what you stand for. To show them that life requires balance. Where there is strength there can also be struggle, where there is confidence it is tempered with humility, where there is tenacity there is gratitude and integrity. This balance is integral in helping them developing their mind, body, and spirit; ultimately to live a productive fulfilling life. Also, though explain that life isn’t fair, it isn’t supposed to be fair, and that it’s going to be hard work throughout your life. Teach them that it is totally okay for it to be like that and really isn’t a big deal. Teaching them failures do happen, but you need to pick yourself up and try again. It’s just what you have to do to accomplish the things you want to do, and more importantly to get the things done you really don’t want to do. This is where exemplifying perseverance comes in. For example, when training (push-ups, running, burpees, etc.) teaching your kids that when their mind is telling them to stop, have them tell themselves to go a little bit more… then when their mind is screaming to stop, try one more. It could be physical training, educational training, all training, whatever… only when you get to that point you meet yourself. The more opportunities you provide for them to do that, the more they get to know themselves. Once you teach your kid how to know themselves, they can become better decision makers and earn self-discipline. Having a strong work ethic in conjunction with solid decision making allows them to learn how to adapt an improvise throughout life. That mindset allows a kid understand that they are only as capable as they are open to being capable for whatever it is they’re doing. Obviously these concepts are meant to be delivered throughout a kid’s childhood at appropriate mental and physical stages in their lives. When kids are young, a better parent will need to be a filter for all the noise that gets thrown at them. When they’ve developed their decision making skills and understand the values you’ve exemplified, a better parent will know their kid will be okay to navigate their way on their own.
Zach and Joe – Thanks for the podcast all that you both do, hope to see you in China!
OK, Gang – The Winner (As Of Now) is Jim G.
Why ‘As Of Now”?
Well, we want to make DOUBLE SURE that if you made a comment, you REALLY want to go to China and 2 days before your flight you do not say:
“My wife is having baby!”
“I can’t get out of work”
“I didn’t realize it was the national pokemon convention in Kalamazoo & my Dad bought my tickets and just told me”
So, Jim G is The Winner.
Please e mail me Jim and we’ll organize how to pay for your trip to China.
Make sure ALL of you are subscribed to the newsletter, especially in case things change!
Awesome! Congrats Jim…enjoy the trip and Agoge!
Thank You Thank You Thank You, I’m ready to go to China and humbled.
Jim G-congrats! You wrote a great response, as did everyone else! Zach and Joe, thanks for putting this on…it was nice to dream of the Great Wall and Agoge for a bit!
Well Done Jim! Live and Lead by your words in China. Zach, Joe thanks for putting this essay contest on.